Man Up

This is my little sister. (I think it is the first photo I have published on the blog - but I have determined that it is enough from the back that no one can identify her...)

She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. She is more generous than anyone I know. She is more polite than either of my own children. She is kind. She is responsible. She is damn smart. (although her WKCE scores may not reflect that....you will have to trust me.)

When I offer to buy her "anything in the world - anything she wants" would you like to know what she asks for? A book. She doesn't want designer jeans. She doesn't want an electronic gadget. She doesn't want the latest Harry Potter lego set. (note - those are all things that MY kids might ask for.) She just wants a book. (Really, she is that incredible.)

And she is incredibly lucky. She's lucky because she's a girl. If she were a boy, she would *still* be on the waiting list at Big Brothers/Big Sisters. The last three years of amazing experiences that we have had would be nothing but dreams.

Did you know that boys in Dane County wait over 2 years for a mentor? TWO YEARS. I think that her little brother has been on the waiting list for 3 years.

I love that the new BB/BS campaign is entitled MAN UP.

I try to explain to people that yes, being a Big takes up a lot of time. And yes, being a Big can sometimes take a little bit of money. (We aren't supposed to buy our "littles" anything, but you show me the person who can let a child live in Wisconsin without a winter coat....) And yes, being a Big can be tough. You will face things you never thought you'd be dealing with.

But it is simply impossible to explain to people how being a Big makes your heart soar. Being a Big changes everything. Being a Big gives you hope, purpose, and faith in humanity.

I've never once in my life wished I were a man. But reading the statistics about the dire lack of Big Brothers, I just wish that I could be a Big Brother.

The difference a Big Brother would make in the world - wow. I can't even come close to that.

Man Up. You could change the world. Or at least one incredible young boy's world.

Summertime and the livin' is conflicted

Big controversy here in Wisconsin over New Berlin's affordable housing plans. Affordable housing and poverty are two big interests of mine, so I read all the articles carefully. I was fine until I got to the comments on the local paper's story. Now, I realize that people who comment on newpapers on-line are their own special kind of crazy. But blatant mean-spiritedness of the comments shocked me. Who writes that stuff????

I think there is a fundamental disconnect between the reality of poverty and the perception of poverty.

People aren't poor simply because they are lazy or stupid. But it must be awfully convenient to believe that, because then you can probably wash your hands of trying to *do* something to solve the problem.

My "little's" family is going through some unbloggable stuff right now. I can sum it up in two simple words: poverty sucks. Suffice it to say that most of us would have trouble walking a block in the shoes of a family struggling to find a place to live and put food on the table, never mind a mile.

I live in a neighborhood that is statistically both whiter and richer than New Berlin. Affordable housing will come to my neighborhood when pigs fly.

So I struggle internally in the summer, moving frequently between the housing projects and the country club. Note: I am not a member of the country club. I'll join when they offer subsidized memberships for low income families. I refuse to join any organization that won't accept my Little. (See any pigs flying, yet? No, me neither.)

For years, I kept my Little away from neighborhood events. It's just awkward and not that fun for her to be the one and only non-rich-white person in attendance. But maybe that's a mistake. Maybe if people got to know her, they'd learn that she is smart and beautiful and hard-working.

Maybe people are prejudiced against the poor only because they don't have any true friends who are poor?

But how will we ever change that if people (myself included here) segregate ourselves by where we live?

Northside Family Restaurant Values

To celebrate the last days of elementary school, my mother (visiting from MD) offered to take daughter D to any restaurant in Madison - cost was no object. Anywhere she wanted to go!

I started salivating. We have some pretty awesome restaurants in Madison. L'Etoile! Harvest! Fresco!

But my daughter had something else in mind. She named a strip-mall restaurant, down the street from us.

"Oh sweetie," I said, "We can go there any time. This is a special dinner! You only 'graduate' from elementary school once! Pick somewhere nice!"

But she held to her guns. See, last week her class received a nice surprise from this restaurant. The waitresses at the restaurant, together with the owner, pooled their money together to donate hundreds of dollars to the 4th/5th grade field trip to Green Bay. Then, the owner paid for a school bus to go to the school and bring the kids to his restaurant, where he offered them ANYTHING ON THE MENU. For free. The kids were beyond excited.

He explained to the kids that he came to the U.S. from Armenia and when he arrived, people were kind and helped him out. He wanted to give back to the country that gave him so much, and was reaching out to our school to do that.

In no uncertain terms, my 11-year-old daughter told me that he had something more important than a fancy menu with over-priced wines. He had character and values.

So we went. To the unpretentious strip-mall restaurant. Where we had a lovely dinner. (And bonus: turns out they serve Spotted Cow!)

As we left, my son turned to me and said, "You know, that restaurant doesn't look like much on the outside. But inside, where it counts, it is really nice."

I blinked back a few tears (mothers are allowed to be a bit overly emotional when their eldest is leaving elementary school behind, no?) and told him that was exactly right. And I was so very glad that my daughter didn't listen to my recommendation to go to the fancy restaurant instead.

I'd like to think that I'm the one teaching my kids that what is on the inside matters more than what is on the outside. But I suspect that perhaps, they are the ones teaching me.

Solidarity Forever

It is rare for me to concur with David Brooks. But in this column, directed at college graduates, I found something we agree on. He says that graduates are being told:

"Follow your passion, chart your own course, march to the beat of your own drummer, follow your dreams and find yourself. This is the litany of expressive individualism, which is still the dominant note in American culture."

He continues:

"The graduates are also told to pursue happiness and joy. But, of course, when you read a biography of someone you admire, it’s rarely the things that made them happy that compel your admiration. It’s the things they did to court unhappiness — the things they did that were arduous and miserable, which sometimes cost them friends and aroused hatred. It’s excellence, not happiness, that we admire most."

We all want the best for our children. But what if it turns out that providing them with the best of everything isn't the answer? What if allowing them to experience some of the struggles that life invariably contains, actually helps them?

Last night, we went to the school picnic of the middle school that daughter D will attend next year. The school has a 71% poverty rate, so most of our neighbors choose to attend a private school, or open-enroll to another public middle school.

But while we were there, we met a group of 7th graders who went down to New Orleans to do an incredible service learning project. We also met a really neat young man who demonstrated his complicated science fair project in both English and Spanish. (Something I certainly could not do....either the science or the Spanish!)

Finally, we headed downtown to the interfaith coalition solidarity singalong.

I know there will be enormous obstacles in the upcoming year. There will continue to be unique challenges at a high-poverty school.

But standing with my fellow Madisonians at the Capitol last night, singing "We shall not be moved" and "Solidarity Forever," it felt, for a few minutes, like we were part of a community that valued the rights of all citizens over the individual happiness of a select few. I felt hope.

David Brooks should come a sing a few verses with us.

Best School Board Meeting. Ever.

I go to a lot of school board meetings. That either makes me certifiably insane, or a concerned citizen who is very interested in education policy. (please let it be the later. please.)

There are only a handful of us average-joe-citizen-parents who are regulars at the local BOE meetings. Sometimes I get really annoyed that no one else seems to care about this critical business of educating our children.

But then, there is a meeting like tonight's - and I am so very grateful that I have whatever recessive mutant gene I possess that attracts me to attend local education meetings.

Tonight, the teachers were out in full force. There was standing-room-only at the meeting. I saw almost every teacher from our elementary school. The teachers spoke so eloquently that I was moved to tears. More than once.

You would think, perhaps, that they were complaining about the millions of dollars of lost benefits and salaries they will not get in the next budget cycle. No, you'd be wrong. Perhaps they were complaining about the $900 million decrease in WI education funding. No, not that either. Or maybe they were upset about the people who continue to write to the local paper decrying the "union thugs" and the "fat-cat overpaid teachers" No, that wasn't it.

They came out because the district is contemplating a change in their planning time. The district wants to provide more time for professional development. They thought they could take a few hours away from teacher planning time to make way for classes/workshops/seminars. When I first read this, it sounded like a pretty good plan, to me. Really, who doesn't like learning new skills?

But then I spoke with some teachers. And I learned about the incredibly important work that they do in their planning time. I learned about the field trips they planned. And the science experiments. And the art projects. And the reports they write. And the amazingly creative work they do to keep students engaged. (I could go on and on...)

I am hoping that our board heard what I heard. We have amazing kick-ass teachers in Madison who care more for the students they serve than just about anything else. The passion for the kids came through loud and clear.

And reason #101 why I could never be an actual Board Member and why I respect them more than they will ever know: After listening patiently for over 2 hours of teacher testimony, they began their very-full regularly scheduled meeting. At 9 pm. When normal people should be headed to bed. That is when they *started.*

TJ Mertz, of AMPS, outlined the agenda items here. I went home and watched on TV and have two comments:

1) TAG ("talented and gifted") - I may be the only parent in the entire district who thinks TAG is doing a great job. We've had no problems at all getting our kids identified and getting amazing services from our classroom teachers and our instructional resource teachers. But I'm a parent who is in the school every week....and goes to board meetings....and is on district committees.

So, that makes me think that one of the big problems is perhaps *communication* to parents on the services available and how to make use of them. That is why I really like the new plan. I think it goes a long way to improve services and communication.

I was on the TAG parent committee, until I got kicked off. (Long story - but I don't recommend ever asking a group of TAG parents the following question: "Don't you think that the kids who are learning all of this stuff in their second language are just as smart, if not smarter, than our kids? What about kids who grow up in poverty and overcome obstacles our kids can't even imagine, but still perform well? Don't you think we should should have special TAG services for them?" If you do ask that question, you will quite coincidentally get a phone call the next day telling you that there is no longer room for you on the committee because they have too many parents interested in being on it. Total coincidence, I'm sure.)

2) 4K - I am so glad to see 4K in Madison that I am able to overlook some of the not-quite-perfect aspects of its roll-out. But TJ spoke so eloquently tonight about the lack of a 4K site at Allied Drive- one of Madison's poorest south-side neighborhoods. That is so very sad. I'm glad to see it offered at Northport and Packers on the north side of town. So, I'll take that, for now. But we can do better.

It's the poverty, stupid.

Oh, the intentions I had to keep this blog regularly updated again....sadly, life gets in the way.

But I have finally carved out some time to pen my thoughts on next year's MMSD Budget. You know, the one in which we ask the Madison teachers to collectively take a $15 million dollar pay cut.

Last year, the Board did not have the flexibility to ask the teachers to make such a sacrifice. Instead, they were forced to propose budget cuts that directly affected student programming. You name it, it was on the chopping block: sports programs, English-Language-Learner services, school closings. After months of difficult negotiations and community-listening sessions, they came up with a budget that worked for most people (within the realm of our very screwed-up school funding formula.) The community came out in droves to state their objection to the cuts. Most of the listening-sessions were standing-room-only. In the end, I felt like we avoided the most damaging cuts. Barely.

But in comes Governor Walker and his budget repair bill, and the tables are turned. Wave the magic wand and we can balance the budget on the backs of our teachers! You know - those overpaid fat-cat teachers.

John Matthews (Teachers Union leader) is calling "uncle" and Ed Hughes (school board member) responds.

I have much more to write on the interplay between management and the union in our school district. Surprisingly, I agree with the school board more often than with Mr. Matthews.

But, I think we are losing sight of the true key issue: childhood poverty. We live in a country in which nearly 20% of our children live in poverty (or "near-poverty.") In our district, 50% of the children qualify for free/reduced lunch. At our school, it is close to 70%.

Who do you think is the one key person who can actually help a kid escape poverty? In my experience, that person is their teacher. The teachers at our school do more than teach - they provide food, clothing, love, guidance, and support.

Every year, I put together a book through iPhoto for our teacher. I ask the kids to tell me their favorite thing about the teacher and we throw together some photos and their quotes. It's really nothing fancy, but it looks nice after Apple gets done with it.

The kids like my son, the ones who grow up with 2 parents and a bed to sleep in and enough food to eat, - they give boring answers: "I have a nice teacher. We do fun things." You know, generic, stock 8-year-old answers.

But the other 2/3rds of the class....they make me cry. They could fill the entire book with the incredibly meaningful things they say about the teacher. It is immediately apparent that for many of the Hmong kids in the class, their beloved teacher is the only person who is able to regularly read to them aloud. They remember every.single.book she has read all year long. They describe her voice when she reads, the plot of the story, the twist at the end.

Teachers matter.

I am not willing to accept a society in which 1 in 5 children doesn't get enough to eat. And the people I see leading the charge to eliminate childhood poverty are the teachers.

So I'm just not sure how drastically cutting their pay helps anyone.

Complexity

Why does everything have to be so complex? Why couldn't we have some more black vs. white or right vs. wrong?

I just returned from testifying at the school board meeting. I'm not known for my estimating abilities, but I'd say there were over 110 people there who spoke. At least 100 people spoke in favor of a particular charter school. I think there were only 5 or 6 of us who spoke against it.

That was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Don't get me wrong, I speak at school board meetings regularly. I think the school board members see me and think "oh no, not her again." But tonight was different. I was shaking in my shoes.

The charter school in question was a charter school for disadvantaged African American boys. Anyone who knows me well knows that this is a cause near and dear to my heart. I've been a "Big Sister" to some amazing African American young ladies for over 20 years. I've lobbied the board over and over and over again to provide MORE resources to our minority and low-income students. I enthusiastically send my kids to an amazing public school in which minorities are the majority and 70% of the kids receive free/reduced lunch.

But - the way they wanted to structure this charter school was troublesome. In Madison we have "instrumentality" and "non-instrumentality" charter schools. "Instrumentality" means that the Board of Education has some jurisdiction over the school. They get some authority over the administration of the school. "Non-instrumentality" is essentially a private school. (But one that gets public money.)

So, I had a decision to make. Here is a charter school that serves a population that I have devoted a great portion of my time/energy to help. Every single speaker tonight struck a chord within my core. They spoke the truth. There *is* a huge achievement gap within our school district. I know, I see it on a daily basis.

But....this particular school is a procedural example of everything I feel is wrong in the education reform movement. I firmly believe that the proposals in front of Wisconsin for expanded vouchers and charters (SB22 and the other bills) will completely destroy our public education system.

So, I stood up.

I asked them to keep their ideas and innovation and enthusiasm and to channel it into an "instrumentality" charter school. Yes, that would require more bureaucracy and it will certainly take longer. But it would be available to every single student - not just the ones who won the charter-school-lottery. You see, the kids I have fallen madly in love with don't even have the resources to apply to the charter school. Some of their parents don't speak English. Others don't have parents who are involved. Still others are homeless. A charter school lottery will certainly help a small population. But it won't help everyone.

The board voted 6-1 in favor of the charter school. Marj Passman was the one board member who seemed to share my concerns.

I spent most of yesterday at a marathon school budget meeting. I can honestly say this was the first budget meeting in which I witnessed grown men cry. Yes, the budget situation in WI under Walker is that dire. The superintendent at one of the districts was describing some of the budget cuts his staff would be taking (20% pay cuts, layoff, etc.) and he started to cry.

So, of course, I started to cry too. I'm still crying tonight. But tomorrow morning, I will get up again, and start the fight again. Our country NEEDS public education and I refuse to give up.